“To love oneself is the beginning of the life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde.

Self-love is the appreciation of one’s worth or virtue. Self-love begins when we observe our actions and words with compassion as if we are our own best friend.
Often, we are very reluctant to promote self-love because there is a very thin line between self-love and selfishness.
But there also exists some crucial differences between self-love and selfishness. Selfishness may give rise to Narcissism and Big Ego whereas self-love promotes high regard for your well-being and happiness. Self-love means not settling for less than what you deserve.

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what there are”. – Malcolm Forbes

Altered Self-Love

Today following the Western culture and trying to project a cool image of ourselves has led to the change in the definition of self-love. The modern definition of self-love revolves around self-freedom based on our vain desires and wishes which gives us momentary pleasures but reduces our life’s worth in the long term. Our desires are very agile and sometimes senseless which changes drastically over time; Hence following those momentary pleasurable desires in the name of Self-love have a huge possibility of ruining your life. The best definition of self-love can be something close to self-discipline because when you love yourself you must be self-disciplined to make the most out of your life.

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely”. – Carl Jung

Self-discipline is a form of self-love.

Let’s take an example – Say you consider your freedom as your self-love. And you think it’s cool and its self-love to do all the things you want to do irrespective of its outcomes, and in that attitude you drink, smoke and you are stoned most of the time considering it to be self-love. But just take a moment and think how can these destructive habits in your life can be self-love? This is where self-discipline comes into play because when you love yourself you won’t nurture destructive habits in your life.

It’s not related to just drug addictions, there are numerous ways through which you keep on destroying your self-love. It can range from jealousy and enmity in your heart, evil deeds, dishonest approach towards life, harming others (results in harming yourself ultimately), greed and many more reasons.

So, start by purifying your heart and deeds for preaching Self-love.

“The better you feel about yourself, the less you need to show off”. – Robert Hand

Self – identification is also a crucial aspect of Self-love

It’s very logical because you cannot love a fake version of yourself which you have developed to satisfy the opinion and perspectives of other people in the world. We play numerous roles (e.g. – a man can be a son, father, husband, brother) in our life and hence our we are inclined to develop our identity based on these roles which are never the truest form of ourselves. So first, explore the ultimate true version of yourself and then nurture it and practice Self-Love. [ I will post a separate blog dedicated to Self-Identity in future.]

“The worst loneliness is not comfortable with yourself”. – Mark Twain

Self-love is not about Gratification.

An expensive pair of shoes or an expensive dress may make you feel pleased good at the moment but it won’t do any good in the long run. It may hamper your budget for the month.
Self-love means giving yourself what your mind, body and soul needs for the challenges of life.
The practice of Self-love is the practice of nourishing yourself.

“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself”. – Andre Gide

So, we can conclude here by summarizing the above words in one line by Buddha

“You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Thank you for reading this far.

You can also read my another blog named: Relationship: Crucial aspects of Relationship

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Comment (1)

  1. Payal Bharadwaj

    Its rejuvenating to read your blogs.. and so much to explore within ourselves..
    Your write ups really motivate us to kick start loving ourselves more..

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